FOXYMORON: Fox WS Baseball Game Coverage doesn't Include much "Game" or "Coverage"
written by Buddy Lung, jr.
Fox obviously doesn't think that the fact that we are watching THE WORLD SERIES of Baseball is exciting enough on its own merits and so feels the need to do whatever it can to distract us from watching the games. Here's some notes I've taken on the coverage so far.
SCOOT ON OUTTA HERE: Fox has concocted the genius idea of making a cartoon baseball named Scooter who tells you about pitches. That's right, folks, for those of you who didn't know a fastball goes fast and a curveball curves, your questions are finally answered. Just mention the cartoon at the water cooler to spark up anger and frustration in even your most passive co-workers. Phil "The Scooter" Rizzuto is turning over in his grave... What's that you say? He's still alive? Then he's turning over in his bed.
RAISING THE BAR: Hi, people at Fox. I have a question for you: can you get rid of (or at least shrink down), that score bar across the top of the screen? If you haven't noticed, it is across the ENTIRE screen. Couldn't you just put it in a corner or something like every other station would? I mean do you really need the entire length of the screen? And another thing: do you really need a flame graphic every time someone throws a strike, makes an out, or scores a run? If I wanted budget sound effects and embarrassing graphics, I could always break out my old Atari system.
PASSING THE BUCK: Joe Buck was announcing the football game on Fox at 1, and now here he is announcing the baseball game at 8. So which one is he an expert at? Could be both, but I doubt it... If he's not an expert at either one, then why hire him for them? John Madden calls football, but doesn't call the World Series. It's one or the other. So, what's Joe Buck doing here?
FOX: FAIR AND BALANCED COVERAGE: Joe Buck's father announced for the Cardinals who are in the Series. Tim McCarver was fired by the New York Yankees and the New York-hating Red Sox are in the World Series (though in fairness, he's a former Cardinal... though I'm sure he has grudges there too). Good choices for a nice national neutral broadcast (note: sarcasm). But then again, it seems to me that everyone in the country is cheering on the Red Sox at this point, so I guess it doesn't really make a difference.
THE S#$% HITS THE FAN: Thanks to Fox, we are able to see that (SURPRISE!) there are actually fans in the stadium. Fox cameras spend more time pointed in the stands than at the game. At the first two games in Fenway, all they did was show Boston fans and Boston fan celebrities in the crowd, several of whom they actually wasted my time interviewing. Then at Game 3 at Busch, all they showed was... Boston fans and Boston celebrity fans in the crowd, some of who they wasted my time interviewing.
Aside from it being onesided, it's still distracting. That's great, Stephen King is in the crowd... wowee... and he's praying. Great. But we don't have to see it more than we see the actual game.
SPEAKING OF FAN CELEBRITIES: I don't care what Ben Affleck, hockey players, writers, actors, politicians, or anyone else in the audience think about the Red Sox this year. Especially Tom Hanks, who has NEVER been a Red Sox fan until this World Series. As if it's not bad enough to listen to Buck and McCarver, now I need to hear what Tom Hanks has to say about Boston. Sorry, Tom: you're a great actor, but you're also a pawn. Is it a coincidence that the whole interview lead up to a commercial for the new Tom Hanks movie "Polar Express?" Let's face it, this is Fox there are no accidents unless they are coming from McCarver about player's names.
KNOW YOUR SUBJECT: Tim McCarver hasn't watched a game since last postseason. Hey Tim, In case you're wondering: it's TIM Wakefield, not Bill Wakefield. And it's BRONSON Arroyo, not Brandon Arroyo. Tim has offered some fantastic insight for the viewers of the game. Like when Pedro Martinez struck out Womack on a changeup. Cue: extra slow motion replay with awkward silence from the booth who doesn't know how to give an analysis of what is being shown on the screen. After about ten seconds, McCarver chimes in: "...and the changeup... gets Wallmack." A) Thanks for the insight, Bill... I mean Tim. B) It's Womack. Wo-Mack. Not Wallmack. Wo. As in "Whoa settle down and increase the thickness in your frames, cause you ain't reading the roster sheet right!
Poor Joel Buck, I mean Joe Buck... He keeps quiet, not correcting his partner, and trying not to embarrass McCarver anymore than McCarver embarrasses himself. Or maybe Buck doesn't know the players names either? Man, if I wanted to listen to two people discuss topics they know nothing about and have to be coached on before each broadcast, I'd watch the Presidential debates.
ENOUGH COMMERCIALS: At last year's ALCS game 7, Tim Wakefield came to the mound, threw a few windup pitches. A nervous-looking late inning replacement Aaron Boone approached the batter's box. Wakefield nodded, set, and wound up. What tension! Boone readied and when Wakefield delivered, Boone jumped all over the pitch like it was in slow motion. Of course, the viewers at home were watching a Ford commercial and only got to see the swing already in progress and the aftermath of the game-winning homerun. Fox, squeezing every lasts econd out of their commercials, nearly entirely missed the defining moment of the series, and probably the entire 2003 baseball season. You thought they would have learned their lesson after last year. Judging by all the off screen first pitches: They didn't learn anything.
ENOUGH SELF PROMOTING: As if it's not bad enough there are signs behind the plate advertising Fox's broadcast schedule. As if it's not bad enough that the voice overs are constantly reminding us we're watching Fox Sports. And as if we don't get enough shots of the audience as it is! We have to contend with these camera hungry freaks with the "I'M ON FOX TV" signs in the audience. It wasn't cool the first time someone tried to get on TV with those signs. It sure isn't cool fifteen years later.
DUE UP: Right before commercial, they show who is due up. But they only show one player. There are three full batters due up. Also, can we do something about the soundtrack. For example, after The Yankees in the ALCS won 2 games, they played "Living on a Prayer" with the line "We're halfway there." This is just one example of the wow-very-clever song choices playing while they show clips with the Fox logo in the corner. Hey, Fox, I have the perfect song for Game 4: It's called "You're so Vain."
ENOUGH COMMERCIALS PART 2: I don't know the shows HOUSE MD, The Rebel Billionaire, or the Fake Obnoxious Boss Billionaire, but I've seen the same commercial so many times, I hate them already.
ADVICE TO MCCARVER: I know it's 100% humidity during the game, since you spent about ten minutes in the Game 3 first third talking about the weather in St. Louis. But when Edmonds runs down a Red Sox line drive and makes a great play running, you say "great play by Edmonds." You don't say "The humidity must have slowed down that ball in the air because it looked like it was falling in." Because it's just weird. And it doesn't make any scientific sense either. I could hear all of St. Louis telling him to shut up when he made that call. All this pretending to be objective belongs on Fox News Net, not on Fox network.
CANDID CAMERA: Thanks to these super hidden, planted in the dirt on the field cameras, we get a magnified view of the dirt around homeplate! Oh yeah, and in the background you could see the batter and catcher too. As if it matters. Dirt cam = Exciting! Groundbreaking! (No pun intended!) The worthlessness of these multi-angles was highlighted in Game 2 on a questionable at-the-knees strike to Manny Ramirez. Fox showed us several different angles slo-mo replays. Each time, McCarver and Buck, turned into deer in headlights. "As you can see in this angle... well ahhhh... yeah that is close," they would say to each angle that they realized showed nothing, absolutely nothing about the location of the pitch. Then they panicked and said "let's see it from another angle." Out of clever shots, they went to the overhead view, which in case you didn't know is there for pitch location outside and inside from the plate, and does nothing at all for location of the pitch high or low.
THE BLIMP: Get rid of the damn blimp. For the first games of the playoffs I thought my TV was broken. Then I realized it was an obnoxious blimp circling the stadium. Get rid of it! Believe me, we won't use "the blimp camera" for any good shots anyway.
ADVICE TO MCCARVER PART 2: Let me just clarify this from me and everyone else in the world watching the game (Red Sox fans included). Suppan's baserunning blunder in Game 3 was a Bill Buckner-esque mistake. It was NOT, repeat NOT a "heck of a throw" by David Ortiz.
In conclusion, I just want to say one thing: Bob Costas, I'm sorry I talked badly about you. Come back and let's make up!
posted by Host at
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
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